© By Jack744 for Mantality.co.za
A wise man once said, “Women. Can’t live with ‘em, can’t kill ‘em”. A little extreme, perhaps, but the phrase nicely sums up the average male’s attitude towards the fairer sex. Not that we want them all dead, of course! It’s just that the female mind is as easy to understand as a washing machine that changes its programmes on a daily basis. Aside from a chosen few with the ‘gift’, most of us still turn into mumbling idiots when talking to members of the opposite sex, especially the attractive ones. The following information should give you the ammunition required to talk to the ladies on an equal basis.
Oh, yes, they do. It’s a physiological necessity to stop them exploding all over the furniture. The difference is that women don’t see the loudest, smelliest fart as a badge of honour, and try their best to drop it in private. If you’re on a first date with a girl who appears uncomfortable, don’t be offended. It could be because she’s holding one in.
THEY’RE ALL DADDY’S GIRLS
For better or worse, all women have issues with their father. If he was the best dad on the planet, then you haven’t a hope in Hell of measuring up. On the flipside, if he left when she was two years old, then you will be regarded as a potential deadbeat. Just take solace in the fact that she is accusing you of being unfaithful on a daily basis because of something a different guy did more than 20 years ago.
THEY HAVE INCREDIBLY LOW SELF-ESTEEM
You might think she looks like a supermodel, but she will have more dark moments than you can imagine; fretting about her hair, weight or skin. This counts doubly for those women who are always telling everyone how great they look. Modern media’s obsession with appearance and size Zero hasn’t helped at all, although it’s a fair bet that Cleopatra, Egypt’s most beautiful pharaoh, bathed in milk because someone pointed out a bit of cellulite.
THEY HATE OTHER WOMEN
For any man who has found himself on the wrong side of the Sisterhood, this might be hard to believe. If a woman is wronged by the old enemy, her friends will band together and make his life unbearable through gossip, back-stabbing, and snide comments. Unfortunately, with no male target for these evil powers, they will turn them against each other. The primeval instinct to be the alpha female is still there, and they have an inherent distrust of potential competitors. Please note that insulting any of her friends to get into her good books will only result in reformation of the Sisterhood.
THEY HAVE YOUR CHILD’S LIFE MAPPED OUT BEFORE THE BIRTH
If you already have kids then this will be akin to preaching to the choir. If not, and you are planning on having them, give up on any dreams you may have. Women naturally believe that carrying the babe for 9 months, not to mention the agony of spitting it out, gives them total control over any future decisions. Save yourself a lot of trouble and find yourself a woman who actually wants their child to be a sports star or an astronaut.