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Bottoms Up: 100 Ways to Win a Tenner

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A very cheeky yet clever way to one-up your drinking buddy and rob him blind in the process. Make sure and get the money first though – as he probably won’t be all to keen on coughing up after you’ve swindled him with this snazzy manoeuvre.

THE HOOK

Few people know it but you are the world’s fastest drinker. No, really. Your friends aren’t convinced but you keep on bragging until they’re sick of hearing about it, “Okay then, a fiver says I’m a sight faster than you. In fact, a fiver says I can drink three pints before you can even drink three shots!” Few people can resist a bet, especially when they’ve had a few sherbets. So it won’t be long before someone takes you up on your challenge. “And just to make it interesting,” you say “the loser pays for all the drinks as well – fair enough?” So, how exactly are you going to drink three pints before your friend drinks the same number of shots? Very easily is the answer.

THE CATCH

Get the drinks lined up in two rows and then crank up the pressure. “Are you sure you can afford it?” No-one likes to feel cheap and no­one likes to back down after accepting a challenge.
“Well, let’s make it a tenner then.” You’ve cornered him now, but there will be a trickle of suspicion running through his mind so you reassure him, while at the same time setting up the very rules that will make you a winner.

“And just to make sure everything’s fair, we’re not allowed to touch each other’s glasses, or one-another; no nudging elbows or anything like that. And no-one else is allowed to touch either of us or our glasses. To give me a sporting chance, the only thing I’d ask is that you let me finish my first pint before you start on the shots. Is that okay?”

Of course it’s okay. You couldn’t possibly manage another two pints in the time he can down three teeny shots, especially when you’ve just necked one,
Next step: get the money. This is an essential part of any scam. Hand over your cash to a neutral party and get your opponent to do the same. It’s another rule of the bar bet. No one likes to pay, so see the colour of the money first.

Now you’re ready. Get Mr. Neutral to shout “Go!” and as soon as you hear it pick up your first pint and down it as fast as you can. Down in one – don’t drown yourself. As soon as you have finished, put your glass upside down right over one of his full shot glasses. Now you can take your time drinking the remaining two pints. You’ve already won.
Why? Because you made the rule that no one could touch any of the glasses. Since your glass is covering one of his – which you didn’t touch _ he can never down that final shot,
Enjoy the rest of the night.

© 100 Ways to Win a Tenner, Paul Zennon

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About Author

Lover of gadgets, men's culture, cool stuff, Earl Grey tea and all things manly. An optimist in his prime. When he's not keeping the wheels turning at Mantality HQ you'll find him trawling the web, and visiting trade shows to find the newest and coolest gadgets. During his down time he's usually with his 2 dogs, on the golf course, cycling or basking in the literary company of Oscar Wilde, Bret Easton Ellis or Martin Amis whilst drinking espresso strong enough to strip paint.

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