This is an article written by John Alexander who is the author of the successful ebook “How to Become an Alpha Male” which I am busy reading and can highly recommend as it encompasses every aspect of becoming a desirable and attractive male. Also what I enjoy about his ebook is that he has created a self-hypnosis chapter in there, with a full script for you to make your own recording and playback to yourself as as when you feel the need.
He has also just recently release an audio version of his popular ebook, which is ideal for those that prefer audio book style “reading”.
I’m going to reveal an important comfort-building technique I call “Boyfriending.” In a nutshell, there’s something you can do that’s usually done ONLY by a woman’s boyfriend.
If you do it too, it’s a way of getting under a woman’s radar and making her comfortable enough around you so that she’ll be receptive to sex without making you wait.
You see, in order for a typical woman to have sex with a man, she must have feelings of comfort. It is not enough for her to simply feel attraction for the guy.
Let’s say you meet a girl at a 5 PM happy hour. The two of you hit it off, having a great conversation. She’s laughing. She’s interested. You entrance her by telling her fascinating stories about your life. The two of you have good rapport.
Around 7:30, you get hungry and invite her to get something to eat. Dinner goes well too. Then dinner ends. Now what?
Around this time, a lot of guys get confused about how to advance the interaction forward. Clearly the goal is to get laid, but the roadmap is often muddled.
Usually the night ends with the woman saying something like, “I had great time meeting you. Call me. Bye!”
Often, the need for comfort is why women like to make guys wait before sex.
(If the guy’s lucky, it might be only three dates, but with a lot of women, the guy can be made to wait for months.)
Fortunately, there’s a way to shortcircuit that barrier. I call it the “Boyfriending Technique.”
If you watch couples who are in close relationships, you’ll notice an interesting phenomenon. The man and woman are extremely comfortable touching each other, so much so that they’ll even do seemingly gross things like brush sleep (“eye boogers”) out of each other’s eyes.
It’s a behavior that’s only done by people who are completely comfortable around each other. Certainly when you are in a relationship where you can brush sleep out of a woman’s eye, you’ve long since passed the point where the two of you are comfortable having sex.
Catch my drift? You can use this as a psychological weapon to make the woman feel more comfortable around you.
In mid-conversation, tell her to hold still and close her eyes. Pretend there’s sleep in her eye, and make her believe that you just brushed it off.
Later, after the two of you finish eating and leave the restaurant, again tell her to hold still. With your finger, brush off an imaginary piece of food from her lower lip.
The net result of the Boyfriending Technique is nuclear. First, it sub-communicates that the two of you are very comfortable around each other.
Second, it involves you touching her face, bringing your heads closer together and progressing towards a make out session.
Third, in the case of you touching her lower lip, you’re in fact touching an erogenous zone. That’s right… a woman’s lower lip has a high concentration of nerve endings. Stimulating her lower lip makes her body release sex hormones.
Make the Boyfriending Technique a part of your dating arsenal, and you’ll find more success than ever before. You may just be having sex within several hours instead of having to wait several months.
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Average Joe vs Savvy Joe…
Okay, so first off the bat I have to agree that the alpha-male is an attractive concept… and no guys – we don’t want to be with the proverbial “muscles from Brussels” (strength is imbedded in your character), in fact, I presume that we pretty much want to end up with the same kind of individual as you do… We want a witty, funny, intelligent, attractive and confident person. Now that’s attractive beyond words…
Meeting Joe was enlightening… I went out on this “blind date” (called that for more than one reason, I assure you), with a random stranger that seemed intriguing and multi faceted (okay – the profile pic didn’t look bad either), but we were two very different kinds of people, so although I went to meet him with an open mind, my heart was definitely guarded – to say the least – this street wise (but decidedly above suspicion) chick wasn’t going to fall for some random Casanova!
We had cocktails and flirted a bit – okay… more than a bit… more like a lot, but I was still keen on the idea of making Mr Smooth Jump through quite a couple of hoops… After all, I’m neither cheap, nor easy – in fact – I have been labeled as being impossible and unaffordable… lol… a reputation I have become proud of boys… yet there I was, sitting while this smooth, confident, understated, smoldering, confident, savvy Joe came walking towards me…
Thinking back on that day, I find myself scratching my head – how could the same (trying desperately to find the words to describe this amazing creature) remarkable guy post such utter garbage on his site…?!? The guy who wrote this article should be shot – or at least beaten within an inch of his life – how can you fake feelings for another person?!? It’s inhumane! Surely we should all “play fair”…
I have read the most brilliant book on the subject, written by one of my all time favorite writers, so I decided to follow her example and talk to a random group of guys… surely you men couldn’t be as shallow as you’re made out to be…?
After a couple of cosmo’s I became very brave and grabbed hold of a guy making his way to the bar that my long time mentor I were sitting at… I introduced my colleague and myself and asked him the fundamental question – Would the average guy pretend to be a girl’s boyfriend in order to sleep with her? – I sat there on the edge of my seat, waiting in anticipation as this guy was now going to settle the score and render my mentor helpless and having to consume 5 shots of tequila for having lost a bet… he opened his mouth and he said… “well, I dunno – I’m gay, but (and guys, be honest, would the rest have mattered after that!?!), but I don’t think so… we were obviously in need of a second opinion… So two more colleagues came to join in the festivities… having been asked the same question, they answered “a guy is ultimately looking for a meaningful relationship (and loves the thrill of the chase), but if that need is not fulfilled, he switches over to the notion that he needs to get lucky tonight… (I have to add that they admitted that it was way too much effort to pretend to be a girl’s boyfriend in order to sleep with her – if she was special, they wouldn’t push it and it would happen eventually)
It would appear that this issue is age-related though, as it was said that guys aged 18 – 25 would be more keen on experiencing different things and to explore, whereas guys aged 26 and up would be more likely to start searching for something deeper and more fulfilling. My colleague was now winning this bet hands down…
Still not quite satisfied, we carried on debating the issue and asked the opinions of two more lads… the one more or less echoed the response given by my other two colleagues, while the other gave an answer that made me turn a lasting shade of crimson and my colleague smile even brighter.
This left me with no other alternative but to conclude the following: Boys will be boys, but a worth while guy knows that his dream girl will never fall for a cheesy pickup line (if she pretends to do so, it’s because she’s interested and grateful that you had the courage to walk up to her and utter any words) or be pressured/cooed into sleeping with him, but instead, will ensure that when this girl is ready to give herself to him – it won’t be from a position of desperation and neediness, but instead, from a position of passion and desire… This girl will NEVER substitute or negotiate their dignity – she’s in sync with her own goals, dreams and ambitions.
So the average Joe might be seen to be an asshole, and truthfully – he might quite possibly be, but the Savvy Joe, in contrast, is the guy a girl dreams of, the one that makes a girl smile when she thinks of him, casting her eyes up, sighing and softly utters his name, with the very thought of him leaving her with goose bumps and experiencing a sense of nostalgia…
So guys, go ahead… be the average Joe, but as on the reality show you’ll seldom ever end up with the quality girl…
So in short “boyfriending” should be done if you really feel that way about that special someone and you want to get to know them and for them to get to know you…
I’m still dating (the ever so savvy) Joe, by the way… he’s sensual, confident, intelligent, witty, has a strong character, has a sense of humor, good looks and that certain sense of Je ne sais quais that drives me insane…
Now THAT, is an alpha male… 😉
Average Joe vs Savvy Joe…
Okay, so first off the bat I have to agree that the alpha-male is an attractive concept… and no guys – we don’t want to be with the proverbial “muscles from Brussels” (strength is imbedded in your character), in fact, I presume that we pretty much want to end up with the same kind of individual as you do… We want a witty, funny, intelligent, attractive and confident person. Now that’s attractive beyond words…
Meeting Joe was enlightening… I went out on this “blind date” (called that for more than one reason, I assure you), with a random stranger that seemed intriguing and multi faceted (okay – the profile pic didn’t look bad either), but we were two very different kinds of people, so although I went to meet him with an open mind, my heart was definitely guarded – to say the least – this street wise (but decidedly above suspicion) chick wasn’t going to fall for some random Casanova!
We had cocktails and flirted a bit – okay… more than a bit… more like a lot, but I was still keen on the idea of making Mr Smooth Jump through quite a couple of hoops… After all, I’m neither cheap, nor easy – in fact – I have been labeled as being impossible and unaffordable… lol… a reputation I have become proud of boys… yet there I was, sitting while this smooth, confident, understated, smoldering, confident, savvy Joe came walking towards me…
Thinking back on that day, I find myself scratching my head – how could the same (trying desperately to find the words to describe this amazing creature) remarkable guy post such utter garbage on his site…?!? The guy who wrote this article should be shot – or at least beaten within an inch of his life – how can you fake feelings for another person?!? It’s inhumane! Surely we should all “play fair”…
I have read the most brilliant book on the subject, written by one of my all time favorite writers, so I decided to follow her example and talk to a random group of guys… surely you men couldn’t be as shallow as you’re made out to be…?
After a couple of cosmo’s I became very brave and grabbed hold of a guy making his way to the bar that my long time mentor I were sitting at… I introduced my colleague and myself and asked him the fundamental question – Would the average guy pretend to be a girl’s boyfriend in order to sleep with her? – I sat there on the edge of my seat, waiting in anticipation as this guy was now going to settle the score and render my mentor helpless and having to consume 5 shots of tequila for having lost a bet… he opened his mouth and he said… “well, I dunno – I’m gay, but (and guys, be honest, would the rest have mattered after that!?!), but I don’t think so… we were obviously in need of a second opinion… So two more colleagues came to join in the festivities… having been asked the same question, they answered “a guy is ultimately looking for a meaningful relationship (and loves the thrill of the chase), but if that need is not fulfilled, he switches over to the notion that he needs to get lucky tonight… (I have to add that they admitted that it was way too much effort to pretend to be a girl’s boyfriend in order to sleep with her – if she was special, they wouldn’t push it and it would happen eventually)
It would appear that this issue is age-related though, as it was said that guys aged 18 – 25 would be more keen on experiencing different things and to explore, whereas guys aged 26 and up would be more likely to start searching for something deeper and more fulfilling. My colleague was now winning this bet hands down…
Still not quite satisfied, we carried on debating the issue and asked the opinions of two more lads… the one more or less echoed the response given by my other two colleagues, while the other gave an answer that made me turn a lasting shade of crimson and my colleague smile even brighter.
This left me with no other alternative but to conclude the following: Boys will be boys, but a worth while guy knows that his dream girl will never fall for a cheesy pickup line (if she pretends to do so, it’s because she’s interested and grateful that you had the courage to walk up to her and utter any words) or be pressured/cooed into sleeping with him, but instead, will ensure that when this girl is ready to give herself to him – it won’t be from a position of desperation and neediness, but instead, from a position of passion and desire… This girl will NEVER substitute or negotiate their dignity – she’s in sync with her own goals, dreams and ambitions.
So the average Joe might be seen to be an asshole, and truthfully – he might quite possibly be, but the Savvy Joe, in contrast, is the guy a girl dreams of, the one that makes a girl smile when she thinks of him, casting her eyes up, sighing and softly utters his name, with the very thought of him leaving her with goose bumps and experiencing a sense of nostalgia…
So guys, go ahead… be the average Joe, but as on the reality show you’ll seldom ever end up with the quality girl…
So in short “boyfriending” should be done if you really feel that way about that special someone and you want to get to know them and for them to get to know you…
I’m still dating (the ever so savvy) Joe, by the way… he’s sensual, confident, intelligent, witty, has a strong character, has a sense of humor, good looks and that certain sense of Je ne sais quais that drives me insane…
Now THAT, is an alpha male… 😉
This ‘boyfriending technique’ (on it’s own), is crap if you ask me (I know you didn’t ask :)). I think it would work much better if you relationship role-play. I absolutely love flirting!! So I love using the relationship role-play because it reduces ASD soooo much!! It assumes so much rapport and creates a strong connection so the girl doesn’t feel like she hardly knows you. And it’s also ok to escalate (hug/hold/make out/shag) because you’re “in a relationship” and that’s what people that are in relationships do.
This ‘boyfriending technique’ (on it’s own), is crap if you ask me (I know you didn’t ask :)). I think it would work much better if you relationship role-play. I absolutely love flirting!! So I love using the relationship role-play because it reduces ASD soooo much!! It assumes so much rapport and creates a strong connection so the girl doesn’t feel like she hardly knows you. And it’s also ok to escalate (hug/hold/make out/shag) because you’re “in a relationship” and that’s what people that are in relationships do.