The Mantality.co.za Blog

For those unable to get their grubby paws on tickets for any of the matches, there’s still hope! You can still enjoy the Soccer World Cup 2010 Experience - from the comfort of your arm chair - but in mesmorising 3D detail! Nu Metro and FIFA have teamed up to bring you a once in a lifetime opportunity to watch select matches in 3D at a host of cinemas across the nation. Read the rest of this entry »

After having watched “Made of Honor” recently (there was absolutely nothing else on I promise), it was quite entertaining to watch Patrick Dempsey, McDreamy/McSteamy/McDrippy (I forget), from Grey’s Anatomy, feebly attempt to “toss a caber”; which resulted in a lot of groaning, staggering, knee buckling and a flattened car roof. I am convinced though, that Michelle Monaghan, given the chance, would have tossed that ffff….flimsy caber right into the stratosphere - my what a woman.

But just how hard can it be tossing a 20 foot pole, weighing in at a feathery 50kg’s? Apparently it’s quite tricky. Read the rest of this entry »

Man Flu is a crippling and debilitating disorder indiscriminately striking down male members of the human species without warning. The illness is often referred to pejoratively by female members of the species who are in fact immune from the illness as man flu is now known to exclusively attack the XY chromosome carrier. If Man Flu is kind enough not to kill the infected party it will definitely leave him weak, sick, hurting everywhere and in dire need of TLC. Read the rest of this entry »

Never be at a loss for less than an witty euphemism, the next time you’re confronted with one of mother nature’s genetical blunders:

• His elevator doesn’t go all the way up to the top floor
• He’s one drop short of an empty bladder
• He’s one sultana short of a total fruitcake
• She’s one tit short of an udder
• He’s the statue in a world of pigeons
• Oil doesn’t reach his dipstick
• He’s a titanic intellect in a world full of icebergs
• He’s not the freshest egg in the carton
• He has a one way ticket on the Disorientated Express
• He missed the last train to Clue Junction
• There’s a kangaroo loose in his top paddock
• He’s swimming in the shallow end of the gene pool
• He’s driving down the road of life with the handbrake on

© The Mammoth Book of Insults

Zu doof zum Scheissen [tsoo DOHF tsoom SHY-suhn]

If you are regarded as a few bricks short, you will have a rough time in Germany. In Berlin, you might be called dumm wie Schifferscheisse, ‘as stupid as seaman’s shit’, an expression which people like because of the alliteration in the double sch.You may even be told that you are ‘too stupid even to shit’: zu doof zum Scheissen. Doofhas more the vernacular sense of’dumb’ or ‘thick’.

Schlappschwanz [SHLAHP-shvahnts]

This insult means ‘limp tail’; Schwanz, ‘tail’, is widely used to mean ‘penis’, so it really means someone who cannot maintain an erection. But these days, not everyone is aware of the origin of that word and it is often used, even to and about women and children, to mean ‘weakling’.

© Uglier Than a Monkey’s Armpit