Forget brain tumours or repetitive strain, today’s youth are so reliant on gadgetry that they will have developed some brand new debilitating conditions by the time they hit middle age. Keep an eye out for one of the following at an Emergency Room near you.

DRE SKULL

These iconic headphones are everywhere and, as cans of choice for rap stars, sportsmen and douchebags alike, they’re proliferating at an alarming rate. Each incarnation is larger than the last and recent models have earphones the size of dinner plates. With all this weight pushing down on the skull, regular wearers will soon develop an indentation under the headband. Ultimately, as this deepens, higher brain functions will be affected, resulting in the mental acuity of a present day English soccer player. Much safer to use the in-ear type such as these Skullcandy Titans and, to be brutally honest, you’ll look less of a dick.

TOUCHSCREEN THUMB

This will be the younger generation’s Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. Years of using thumbs to type, swipe and tap everything from messages to birds will eventually result in the joints wearing out. The inability to grip anything will be bad news for fans of the Nintendo Wii, but sales of the Fleshlight will go through the roof!

OFFLINE ANXIETY SYNDROME

Recent studies have shown that teenagers who are deprived of their smartphones become agitated and aggressive within a couple of hours. All right, as they are teenagers, even more agitated and aggressive. As their entire social life becomes reliant on these devices, it won’t be long before even the briefest of Wifi outages triggers mass suicide.

OS IDENTITY DISORDER

This condition exists today as Gender Identity Disorder, where the sufferer feels they are in the wrong body. In the future, it’s not inconceivable that our children may appear content with using Internet Explorer, but all the time their frail psyche is crying out for a go on Safari. Fortunately, unlike GID where the only true cure is the rather extreme sex change operation, you should be able to sort OID out with a trip to the Apple store.

SPELLCHECK DRONE ATTACK

Governments are using technology more and more in their ‘war against terror’, and many a wrongdoer has met an unfortunate end because they used a mobile phone. However, advances in surveillance techniques mean it won’t be long before the security services are able to intercept messages as they are being typed. Spellcheck has already closed two schools in the US after it changed the word ‘gunna’ to ‘gunman’. With the number of drones orbiting the skies on the increase, next time the iPhone changes ‘Allan’ to ‘Allah’ someone’s going to get a Hellfire missile down their throat.

© By Jack744 for Mantality.co.za

All men are bastards, right? You only have to pick up any magazine intended for women and several of the features will tell you that. However, before dismissing this cliché as yet more anti-man propaganda, ask yourself why it has been around for so long. Could it be, perhaps, that we are just a little bit bastardy? It is possible because, as the following examples show, we can do a decent line in hypocrisy. Read on, men, and then hang your heads in shame.

Weighty Issues

Women have a hard enough time trying to measure up to a media-defined ideal figure, without men banging on about excess poundage. If you think your better half’s weight is becoming a problem (for health reasons and not, repeat, NOT because you “can’t fancy a fat chick”), then by all means subtly hint that a bar of chocolate should be a treat, not a challenge. However, if you’re bursting out of an XXXL shirt and surviving on fried chicken, don’t expect her to take much notice. Instead, why not take a look at Mantality’s range of slimming aids to help get you back to an ideal weight? As well as heading off a massive coronary, your partner is much more likely to go for the idea if she sees you making an effort.

Alcohol: The Thin Red Wine

Imagine you’re at a party where you are the designated driver. Now imagine that the love of your life has had a few too many drinks. She is slurring, squealing loudly, falling into people and grabbing you inappropriately. You spend the night apologising profusely to anyone who’ll listen, accusing her of being drunk and making a scene. Then you don’t speak to her for days. Now reverse the roles and suddenly things seem a little different, don’t they? The next day you will behave like a bear with a sore head, before eventually claiming that a) you remember nothing, b) she’s blowing everything out of proportion and c) it’s a f**king party, for f**k’s sake - you’re supposed to enjoy yourself.

It’s not too hard to see why the girls get a bit pissed off with this.

Are Shoes Considered Essential Items?

Any man who has lived with a woman will have witnessed an expensive pair of shoes suddenly materialising from out of nowhere. Justification usually takes the form of giveaway sale price, necessity or even reparation for previous misdemeanours. Whichever it is, the result is always the same - an extra pair of shoes in the wardrobe and a dented bank balance. Next time this happens don’t be too quick to condemn her frivolous and excessive spending. Ask yourself how many non-essential, often expensive, gadgets you have bought in the past. Simply replace the words ‘pair of shoes’ with the words ‘iPhone Projector‘…and then relax.

Are You Looking At My Bird?

As feminists have been telling us for ages, all men are animals. As such, we have instincts buried deep in the subconscious that predate civilised society. There’s the primeval urge to continue the species by sowing seed far and wide, as well as the unshakeable belief that any mate ‘belongs’ to us. Just how much each impulse is allowed to affect behaviour on a day-to-day basis depends on the individual. Most of us manage to keep them within society’s definition of acceptable behaviour, although there are some men who don’t. If, on one hand, you’re flirting in front of your partner, while using the other hand to slap a waiter for looking at her, there are some issues that ought to be addressed.

These are only a few of the double standards that infuriate the ladies and, if we don’t want them thinking we’re bastards, it has to stop. The best advice we can give is to try and see your behaviour through her eyes, then act accordingly. Trust us, it will go a long way towards making your coexistence a happy one.

© By Jack744 for Mantality.co.za

Flashback to the glory days of gaming with iCade! iCade integrates your iPad into an authentic, arcade-style cabinet complete with joystick and buttons! Impress your friends, family and co-workers with iCades great-looking retro design, and then challenge them for high-scores on the most entertaining iPad accessory imaginable!

iCade’s specially designed cradle ensures safe loading and unloading of your iPad, while also providing a solid, secure fit even during the most intense game-play sessions. Furthermore, the cradle offers an ideal screen-viewing angle and quickly connects iCade’s top-quality arcade controls directly to your iPad wirelessly. Once iPad is in place, simply launch any supported iCade-compatible app and it’s game on!

iCade is compatible with 100 Atari classics including Asteroids, Centipede, and Battlezone. All are available as in-app purchases when you download the free Atari Greatest Hits app. Plus, new and existing apps can be easily updated to work with iCade. Grab hold of iCade’s full-sized joystick and smash the eight arcade buttons for commanding control of iPad’s on-screen action. This truly unique arcade cabinet game-controller for iPad will provide hours of action and nostalgic fun for years to come. Enter the iCade and go back to the future!
Key

Features:

Includes:

• iCADE game cabinet with built-in joystick & buttons
• Instruction manual
• Quick-start guide
• 2 AA Batteries

Gin & Titonic Ice Tray

Now the nice weather is here, anyone with a yard larger than an A4 envelope ought to be eating breakfast, lunch and dinner outdoors. If it’s larger than two A4 envelopes, then friends and family should also be involved, and that means plenty of cold drinks. In the past, choices involving ice have been limited to a) yes or no, and b) how many cubes. At Mantality, however, we believe that interesting ice is a basic human right. Just use any of the following ice trays and no guest will ever endure boring cubes again.

FROZEN SMILES

These are ice dentures which can be used to gross out squeamish guests, or seriously confuse elderly relatives. The latter will end up with cold mouths and a surfeit of teeth, while the former won’t be able to drink from a glass that looks as if it should be sitting on a bedside table.

HAVE AN ICE DAY

The phrase “crying into your drink” need never be heard again with this product. Every time you take a giant gulp to forget that your girlfriend left on the anniversary of the death of your favourite pet, you’ll be staring into a glassful of smiley faces. Just try staying depressed after that.

GIN & TITONIC

April next year marks the centenary of the Titanic disaster, so what better way to commemorate one of mankind’s greatest follies than novelty ice? Pour a large measure of your favourite drink and add one of the doomed ocean liners. Next, put on some Celine Dion, drop in an iceberg, and let nature take its cold-blooded course.

CHILL PILL

What can we say about the Chill Pill? Well, firstly, the jokes about spiking drinks will grow old in minutes. Secondly, if you ignore the marketing, they’re basically large cubes with rounded edges. Finally, and this is the good bit, if you overdose on peri peri then the Chill Pill is exactly the right shape and temperature for administering direct relief the next day.

ICE SHOT GLASS

Imagine a nightmare scenario in which you have a pressing need to get spectacularly drunk, but there’s only warm beer in the cupboard. Normally you’d have to wait at least twenty minutes for the fridge to work its magic, but not anymore. Simply fill an Ice Shot Glass with vodka and drop it into the beer glass. Within a minute you’ve got cold beer and a ruthless alcohol delivery system, often referred to as a Depth Charge. What’s more, there’s no danger of choking because they’ve been specifically designed to melt in the throat before the first onset of brain damage. Maybe.

© By Jack744 for Mantality.co.za

© By Jack744 for Mantality.co.za

Anyone who owns a battery-powered gadget will have suffered the agony of a flashing power meter at some time or another; usually just when said gadget is needed. The Achilles heel of such feature-rich devices is their reliance on mains power, and that is where the Powertraveller range steps into the spotlight. Solar technology and efficient batteries (guaranteed to hold 75% of their charge for at least a year) are headline qualities that make these the best portable chargers on the market. The clever people at Powertraveller have created four variants, each with its own pros and cons. Read on to see which one is right for you.

The entry-level model is the Solarmonkey, a clamshell solar panel that plugs directly into a mobile phone, iPod or PSP. It can also charge the packaged Solarnut, a tiny battery that gives approximately 15 minutes’ talk time if the sun doesn’t turn up. Together they weigh next to nothing and are perfect for topping up your device while at the beach. Unfortunately, they aren’t powerful enough to charge power-hungry smartphones such as the iPhone4 or HTC. As they only work using sunlight, they’re also pretty useless on a winter holiday in England.

Should you happen to live somewhere that sees less sunshine than the dark side of the moon, don’t fret though. The Powermonkey Explorer takes all the good aspects of its cheaper brother, improves on them, and then throws mains or USB charging into the mix. A fully charged Explorer can run an iPod for 40 hours or provide up to 96 hours’ standby on any smartphone. With interchangeable tips, it’s possible to leave all your untidy chargers at home, and thus the Explorer is ideal for trips where you are near a mains socket each night. Simply charge your devices on an ad hoc basis during the day, and plug it in while you sleep. The only downside to this lightweight wonder? It doesn’t pack enough punch to cope with the iPad or other tablets. For that, you’ll be needing the Powermonkey Extreme.

Weighing in at 0.5 kg including the clamshell, the Extreme may be heavier than the Explorer, but not a single gram is wasted. The capacitor unit holds a massive 9000mAh worth of charge which, to put it into language we all understand, is the equivalent of almost two full charges for the iPad. A handy Velcro strap can attach the solar panel to a tent or rucksack, making the Extreme the go-to charger for outdoor pursuits and camping trips. It’s also waterproof and shockproof, so a sudden downpour or careless companion won’t stop you playing Angry Birds in the Serengeti.

Finally, for hardcore outdoorsmen there is the Powergorilla. Working in tandem with the Solargorilla, this variable-voltage monster can recharge practically anything, up to and including laptops. The two Gorillas weigh over 3kg combined and, unlike King Kong, are probably tough enough to survive a fall from the Empire State building. Best not to try, though!

If you’re still undecided, Mantality would recommend the Extreme every day of the week and twice on Sundays. The massive charge it can hold, coupled with the built-in female USB port, make it a consummate all-rounder that fits into a case the size of a beer can. You’ll never have to suffer a dead battery again.

© By Jack744 for Mantality.co.za

In recent years, the month of November has seen the world’s men sprouting moustaches at an alarming rate, only to shave them off and pretend nothing happened as soon as December rolls around. Is it temporary insanity, or a sure sign that more and more of the planet’s males are developing a penchant for musical theatre?

In fact, it’s neither of these. It’s Movember; a global charity drive where volunteers agree to stop shaving for an entire month in return for sponsorship. It’s the best kind of fundraising for most guys because it actually requires less effort on their part. Although it’s now technically too late to get involved if you aren’t already, there’s always next year. In the meantime, here are just a few facts and figures about Movember:

• Since its conception, over 1.1 million ‘Mo Bros’ have raised more than R1.2bn for men’s cancer charities.
• Participants must be clean shaven on Movember 1^st and may only groom the resulting ‘tache.
• According to the ‘rules’, the moustache must never touch any sideburns. Failure to comply results in disqualification as a beard-wearing muppet.
• A ‘Mo Sista’ is a woman who supports her ‘Mo Bro’ by spreading the word, finding sponsors and generally ignoring the fact her man looks like a Village People reject.
• Celebrities who are famous for their moustaches include Merv Hughes, Hulk Hogan, Ron Jeremy and Tyra Banks.
• Gala Partés are held worldwide to celebrate the end of Movember. Participants meet up to show off their moustaches, award prizes and get totally hammered.

Movember is for an excellent cause, but the downside is that you’ll eventually have to shave off a month’s worth of upper lip hair. You could use a disposable razor, of course, if pain is something you actually enjoy. Alternatively, why not treat yourself to a little bit of luxury with this Mühle Dark Horn set and some Nickel Fire Insurance balm. Your skin will thank you!

There’s also a nifty Movember app for your iPhone®

AR Drone for iPhone Air Battle Modes

© By Jack744 for Mantality.co.za

Every once in a while, someone takes an old idea and reinvents the hell out of it. Apple did it with the iPhone, and now Parrot has come up with the AR Drone Quadricopter. Remote control aircraft used to be associated with pale nerds spending months lovingly building a Sopwith Camel, before crashing it first time out. Not anymore! The AR Drone in itself is an awesome flying machine, as you can see here, but Parrot didn’t stop there. The fact that control is via compatible smartphone or tablet, using the AR Drone’s built-in cameras and augmented reality, allowed the software developers to be very creative. The resulting game modes are the icing on the cake, not least because you can pretend you’re in any one of these classic films:

TOP GUN

Action-packed and ridiculously homoerotic (unintentionally, we hope, although it was backed by the Navy), Top Gun gave so much joy to a generation of adolescent males. For the straight petrolheads, there were fighter jets going ballistic. For the gays, there was the volleyball game. With ‘Flying Ace’, you can recreate the thrill of the former. You and a friend control a Drone each, using the controller’s display to out-manoeuvre and ‘destroy’ the other with computer-generated missiles. Shouting “Yeehah, Jester’s dead!” is optional.

RETURN OF THE JEDI

Anyone who watched the Speeder Bike chase and didn’t think “I have got to get me one of those” was either female or dead. Unfortunately, technology hasn’t yet stretched to high velocity hover bikes, but the AR Drone’s Pursuit app is the next best thing. Just find the nearest forest and take it in turns to mercilessly hunt each other’s AR Drone amongst the trees. For a true homage to Han Solo et al, you could get any younger siblings to dress up as Ewoks and throw rocks about.

THE TERMINATOR

Remember those haunting images of Skynet’s airborne Hunter Killers scouring the desolate landscape for surviving humans? Well, now you can play the part of either soulless robot or mankind’s last hope. It won’t be entirely faithful to the original because there’ll be fewer mountains of crushed skulls - unless you live in a really bad area, that is! However, the man versus machine element is definitely still there. The Drone pilot uses the aircraft’s cameras to search for the other player, who wears a specially designed baseball cap. Meanwhile, the ground-based player uses his smartphone to target the AR Drone with, of all things, a slingshot. First one to deplete the opposition’s health bar wins.

These are only three of the game modes available for this incredible gadget. There’s loads of fun to be had pushing the aircraft to the limit. And if that limit is exceeded, Parrot is more than happy to sell you spare parts!

Another SA exclusive to Mantality.co.za! Get your freak on this Halloween. The makers of the world’s best selling male sex toy: Fleshlight have created a line of freak themed Fleshlights which are sure to make your skin crawl. The Fleshlight Freaks come in the following models and retail for R990 (incl vat, ex delivery)

• Zombie Fleshlight
• Alien Fleshlight
• Frankenstein Fleshlight
• Dracula Fleshlight
• Cyborg Fleshlight

© By Jack744 for Mantality.co.za

A record number of today’s women are prime minister or president of their country; leading from the front, rather than from behind an unfaithful husband. However, just because it’s a record doesn’t mean it’s a lot. Worldwide, the count is hovering around twenty, although this may fall if rumours about Thailand’s PM turn out to be true. Given the male/female population is split 50:50, there is a slight favouritism towards men. Why are so few women world leaders? Based on the following characteristics, which many have in abundance, they really ought to be running the entire show!

PAIN THRESHOLD

Women like to pour scorn over men claiming to be in pain, using childbirth as a baseline below which no fuss should ever be made. The analogy of ‘shitting a melon’ crops up time and again. This is definitely stretching it a little, but still a fair point. Soldiers, who regularly put themselves in harm’s way, would agree that trying to pass anything larger than an orange is going to end in tears. Imagine what could be achieved with an army of individuals who consider disembowelment a mere inconvenience…

TEARS APLENTY

Why then, when women can withstand pain that would destroy mortal men, do they start crying at the drop of a hat? Basically, it’s for one of two possible reasons. Either they are incredibly sensitive, or they want their own way. In any argument, it’s a stone-hearted guy who can go in for the kill once the waterworks are switched on, whether they’re genuine or not. When British PM, Margret Thatcher, was kicked out of office, she shed enough dignified tears that her opponents felt sorry for her. And she was a tyrant!

SCHEMING

“The best laid plans of mice and men,” poet Robert Burns once wrote, “often go awry.” Note how he was happy to lump us in with rodents, but didn’t mention women. The female mind has an innate ability to picture how it wants the future…then it sets about making it that way. One minute your best mate’s girl is arranging for you to meet her plain friend, the next you’re standing at an altar, wondering what just happened. Solving the Middle East problem should be a piece of piss for these powers, although they do seem to have difficulty with simpler puzzles like the M-Cube.

SEXUAL DEALING

The main difference between prostitutes and the rest of womankind is that the former take cash. Throughout history, sex has been one of the few bargaining chips that women possess, and men want. Why not use it? However, these days the withholding of ‘favours’ isn’t simply a good way to get that new BMW. If you Google “sex strike”, it’s clear that it is becoming quite a fashionable weapon in the Battle of the Sexes. Not that there is likely to be a global strike any day soon but, just in case, you might want to stock up on these!

One of the coolest flying gadgets on the planet just got better! Previously the Parrot AR.Drone iPhone controlled Quadricopter was only available to fly (using the iphone FreeFlight App) with iphones, ipod touches and ipads. Now the makers of this insanely addictive flying device have released an Android App as well, so just about anybody that owns a tablet or smartphone worth its salt (IMHO Blackberry is a little on the skids as of late) can now fly one of these.

To use the FreeFlight application, your Android phone or tablet must meet the following criteria:
Your device must be running Android version 2.2 (or a later version). To check what version of Android is installed on your phone, go to Settings > About phone > Software information > Android version.

• The screen of your device must have the Multitouch function. Please refer to the user guide or specifications for your phone for more information.
• Your device must have an accelerometer. Please refer to the user guide or specifications for your phone for more information.

Get your Parrot AR.Drone today or find out more and how to download FreeFlight for Android here.