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FHM January 2009 Issue Highlights

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Here are a few highlights from the latest issue of FHM Magazine which is available to buy online from Mantality.co.za or sent free when you spend R500 or more on any order.

FHM magazine is chock full of bust wrenching babes, articles and interesting articles. It’s the essential magazine for the “Lad about Town”

FHM January 2009

Useless Christmas Trivia

Why is there a dead tree in my house?
For a Christian celebration, it’s a bit of a mystery – as they were popularised either by bloodthirsty Germanic pagans in the 11th century, or by Dionysus, Greek god of wine and fertility. Either way, your poor dead conifer is openly condemned in the Bible. Jeremiah 10:3 warns of the heathen folk who “cut a tree out of the forest.. they deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not.” Strict Christians oppose trees completely (although not in the wild, obviously) – but 60 million are sold in Europe, and 40 million in North America, every year.

What’s that pain in my chest after xmas dinner?
Don’t dial 10111. Yet More than likely it’s heartburn, not a heart attack. As you consume more alcohol and rich foods than normal, this can damage the mucus that lines your stomach and oesophagus. But it also overworks the inter¬connecting valve, which means that all that potent stomach acid currently dissolving your mom’s roast splashes out, burning the exposed flesh, giving you those sickly burps. Although it could also be a heart attack, but in that case you’re probably already … oh.

Why do brussel sprouts make me fart?
Like a tiny stench grenade, old Brassica oleracea gemmifera is actually a type of wild cabbage and – like beans and asparagus – is made of a dense carbohydrate called raffinose. Annoyingly, only the bacteria in your large intestine can break it down, and it’s these gut scrubbers that produce up to two litres of fart a day. Only a tiny percentage of this gas is hydrogen ulphide – the rotten-eggy smell.
Get this: women have up to 40 per cent higher concentrations of these! Feel free to remind your girlfriend of this at inopportune moments.

Jokes

Pub Grub
Ou Koos goes into the town’s new bar for a dop. On the wall there’s a sign that reads, “Cheese sand¬wiches: RlO. Chicken mayo: R15. Handjobs: R20.” He calls over the sexy blonde barmaid and asks her, “Are you the one who gives the handjobs?” She flutters her eyelashes, gives him an alluring smile and murmurs, “Well, yes … ”
“In that case,” says ou Koos, “Go wash your flippen hands – I want a cheese sandwich.” Robbert Nasilowski, via email

QUICKIES!

Short, sweet, sexy!

  • Your own sexy home movies can be a great way to spice up your relationship, but guard them with your life! Do not let unwanted viewers obtain this material!
  • Make sure your partner is as into the sex movie idea as you are. If it’s your own personal fantasy, it’s unfair to nag or blackmail her into doing something she’s not entirely comfortable with.
  • Use your vacations to spice up your sex life. A fresh. relaxed state is the best time for becoming more creative in the bedroom.
  • If this is your intention, go on your vacations prepared. Take your sex toys and other sex paraphernalia with you it’ll prove quite handy in the bedroom (but check with your travel agent regarding the customs law at your specific destination) .
  • If your partner is suffering through lack of orgasms. address this issue promptly. If you can’t sort it out. seek professional help
  • Don’t shun masturbation as “wrong” or “sinful” ¬regular masturbation has the p’otential to improve your sex life. Most researchers value it highly these days – not only for the sexual value, but its overall contribution to your health. Talk to your partner often to make sure she’s enjoying sex as much as you are .
  • Pay attention to subjects that concern your loved one, both in and outside of your ,bedroom. A truly loving partner is one who cares.

This is merely a sneak peak of what’s in the current issue. These and other great features (see below) are available in each and every issue of FHM:

  • Reporter (intervews, model shoots)
  • Reviews (books, dvd’s, games)
  • Style (fashion, grooming)
  • Sex (tips, advice, ladies confessions)
  • Sport (articles, training techniques)
  • Regulars (letters, true stories, jokes)

Source: FHM Magazine

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About Author

Lover of gadgets, men's culture, cool stuff, Earl Grey tea and all things manly. An optimist in his prime. When he's not keeping the wheels turning at Mantality HQ you'll find him trawling the web, and visiting trade shows to find the newest and coolest gadgets. During his down time he's usually with his 2 dogs, on the golf course, cycling or basking in the literary company of Oscar Wilde, Bret Easton Ellis or Martin Amis whilst drinking espresso strong enough to strip paint.

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