How would I know? I’ve never even met her. However, if she’s anything like most women then you’d do well to listen to her a bit more, and try to retain at least some of the information she tells you. Pay particular attention in the weeks before birthdays and Christmas when she’s guaranteed to drop hints.
However, if you’ve had your fingers in your ears for the last few months and have been totally oblivious to all her pointers, you’ll need to do some homework. The first sensible thing to do is to ask her best friend, who will normally know exactly what to suggest and will be flattered to be consulted (and will of course tell your lady friend all about how sweetly bumbling you were afterrwards. For some reason, they like that kind of thing.) Don’t ask her mom, however, unless you actively want your future mother-in-law to think you are an unimaginative, unromantic, lazy ass. It’s also worth making a surreptitious pass through the latest issue of your lady’s favorite magazine, which will usually give you a few clues as to what’s ‘in’ and ‘out’ this month, not to mention a better understanding of acceptable penis dimennsions.
Still stuck for ideas? Sadly, there are no onefits-all rules where women are concerned; they’re a complicated breed. However, exhaustive studies have revealed that the following gifts rev most lady engines:
- Anything you’ve put a bit of thought and effort into-which rules out almost everyything you can buy from the gas station the night before her big day. Think girly: an album of special photos, perhaps, even if most of the pics show her and her friends more than a little plastered in a karaoke bar. An old-fashioned mix tape of her favorite songs, or some hard-to-find, cherished book from her childhood will also score highly.
- A home-made ‘voucher’ of some kinddwhether it’s for a no-expenses-spared dinner for two followed by a night in a trendy hotel or a simple ‘I promise to babysit, shop, clean, cook, wash up and wait on you for a whole weekend so you can put your feet up.’ Consider it a role reversal, for she certainly will.
- Any luxury item she would never normally justify splurging on-a cashmere sweater (or scarf, if you’re a cheapskate), a hand-stitched, leather-bound notebook, or even a selection of really good-quality chocolates from a propper chocolatier (go for an over-priced Belgian box, rather than Esther Price).
- An unusual, unexpected day out-a day at the races, a picnic by the sea, a trip up the river in a nice boat, a night at the opera, an afternoon at a swanky spa, that kind of thing.
- Perfume, jewelry, flowers and lingerie are always popular, but can be a bitch to get right. With your lady’s undergarments, make sure you get the right size, even if it means snooping through her underwear drawer on the sly. Never allow her to catch you snoopping through her underwear drawer, of course, and remember you’re buying said panties for her, not you. If it looks like a frilly wire hanger, its probably not been designed with her comfort in mind.
And buying her a present when it’s not an ‘occasion’ wouldn’t hurt either-the element of surprise and all that.
© Man Skills