In the hands of a horny novice, bra straps can maim and possibly even kill. That’s not merely exaggerating for the purpose of a more dramatic introduction-it’s based on the sorry tale of a young man who needed plastic surgery after catching a finger in the bra of his busty companion.
He was twenty-seven and knew no better (though he certainly should have by that age), and his injuries were serious enough for surgeons to suggest the introduction of Bra Camps for naive young men. Well, kind of. ‘[We] advocate patient self-education (during the adolescent years) on the mechanism of external female mammary support and postulate that it may be important in reducing the incidence of other such injuries,’ claimed the British Journal of Plastic Surgeons in 2002.
Sadly, Bra Camps have not been forthcoming, and because you’re attempting to unhook the external female mammary support with just the one hand, the following guide may just save your life …
Along with a series of small hooks, tension in the bra strap keeps the garment tight-you’ll need to isolate that tension before you can whip the bra clean off. Having slid your hand casually around her back, place thumb and fore-finger on the top, outer side of the bra strap, on either side of the locked hooks, with your three remaining fingers sliding underneath the bra strap.
The three fingers should isolate the tension in the strap by pulling it away slightly from the woman’s back, with the thumb and foreefinger gently squeezing together to release the hooks.
If done properly, you should still be injury-free, the unhooked straps will fall down and the bra should be hanging free. If you need tips on what to do next, you’ll need to buy a porn movie. That one with the mustachioed man on the front comes highly recommmended.