Now the nice weather is here, anyone with a yard larger than an A4 envelope ought to be eating breakfast, lunch and dinner outdoors. If it’s larger than two A4 envelopes, then friends and family should also be involved, and that means plenty of cold drinks. In the past, choices involving ice have been limited to a) yes or no, and b) how many cubes. At Mantality, however, we believe that interesting ice is a basic human right. Just use any of the following ice trays and no guest will ever endure boring cubes again.
These are ice dentures which can be used to gross out squeamish guests, or seriously confuse elderly relatives. The latter will end up with cold mouths and a surfeit of teeth, while the former won’t be able to drink from a glass that looks as if it should be sitting on a bedside table.
The phrase “crying into your drink” need never be heard again with this product. Every time you take a giant gulp to forget that your girlfriend left on the anniversary of the death of your favourite pet, you’ll be staring into a glassful of smiley faces. Just try staying depressed after that.
April next year marks the centenary of the Titanic disaster, so what better way to commemorate one of mankind’s greatest follies than novelty ice? Pour a large measure of your favourite drink and add one of the doomed ocean liners. Next, put on some Celine Dion, drop in an iceberg, and let nature take its cold-blooded course.
What can we say about the Chill Pill? Well, firstly, the jokes about spiking drinks will grow old in minutes. Secondly, if you ignore the marketing, they’re basically large cubes with rounded edges. Finally, and this is the good bit, if you overdose on peri peri then the Chill Pill is exactly the right shape and temperature for administering direct relief the next day.
Imagine a nightmare scenario in which you have a pressing need to get spectacularly drunk, but there’s only warm beer in the cupboard. Normally you’d have to wait at least twenty minutes for the fridge to work its magic, but not anymore. Simply fill an Ice Shot Glass with vodka and drop it into the beer glass. Within a minute you’ve got cold beer and a ruthless alcohol delivery system, often referred to as a Depth Charge. What’s more, there’s no danger of choking because they’ve been specifically designed to melt in the throat before the first onset of brain damage. Maybe.