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Why Women Should Rule The World

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A record number of today’s women are prime minister or president of their country; leading from the front, rather than from behind an unfaithful husband. However, just because it’s a record doesn’t mean it’s a lot. Worldwide, the count is hovering around twenty, although this may fall if rumours about Thailand’s PM turn out to be true. Given the male/female population is split 50:50, there is a slight favouritism towards men. Why are so few women world leaders? Based on the following characteristics, which many have in abundance, they really ought to be running the entire show!

PAIN THRESHOLD

Women like to pour scorn over men claiming to be in pain, using childbirth as a baseline below which no fuss should ever be made. The analogy of ‘shitting a melon’ crops up time and again. This is definitely stretching it a little, but still a fair point. Soldiers, who regularly put themselves in harm’s way, would agree that trying to pass anything larger than an orange is going to end in tears. Imagine what could be achieved with an army of individuals who consider disembowelment a mere inconvenience…

TEARS APLENTY

Why then, when women can withstand pain that would destroy mortal men, do they start crying at the drop of a hat? Basically, it’s for one of two possible reasons. Either they are incredibly sensitive, or they want their own way. In any argument, it’s a stone-hearted guy who can go in for the kill once the waterworks are switched on, whether they’re genuine or not. When British PM, Margret Thatcher, was kicked out of office, she shed enough dignified tears that her opponents felt sorry for her. And she was a tyrant!

SCHEMING

“The best laid plans of mice and men,” poet Robert Burns once wrote, “often go awry.” Note how he was happy to lump us in with rodents, but didn’t mention women. The female mind has an innate ability to picture how it wants the future…then it sets about making it that way. One minute your best mate’s girl is arranging for you to meet her plain friend, the next you’re standing at an altar, wondering what just happened. Solving the Middle East problem should be a piece of piss for these powers, although they do seem to have difficulty with simpler puzzles like the M-Cube.

SEXUAL DEALING

The main difference between prostitutes and the rest of womankind is that the former take cash. Throughout history, sex has been one of the few bargaining chips that women possess, and men want. Why not use it? However, these days the withholding of ‘favours’ isn’t simply a good way to get that new BMW. If you Google “sex strike”, it’s clear that it is becoming quite a fashionable weapon in the Battle of the Sexes. Not that there is likely to be a global strike any day soon but, just in case, you might want to stock up on these!

© By Jack744 for Mantality.co.za

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About Author

Lover of gadgets, men's culture, cool stuff, Earl Grey tea and all things manly. An optimist in his prime. When he's not keeping the wheels turning at Mantality HQ you'll find him trawling the web, and visiting trade shows to find the newest and coolest gadgets. During his down time he's usually with his 2 dogs, on the golf course, cycling or basking in the literary company of Oscar Wilde, Bret Easton Ellis or Martin Amis whilst drinking espresso strong enough to strip paint.

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