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Bulldoze Your Way Through Approach Anxiety With These Hot Tips


The approach is without doubt the hardest and most terrifying aspect of meeting women, many guys have this uncontrollable fear and suffer from what’s called approach anxiety, but the most important thing you have to do is acknowledge the fear and bulldoze through it. Well you might say that is easier said than done, true, but rest assured in the fact that women get primped up, spend 3 hours beautifying themselves, and go out purely to meet and talk to guys. So do her a favour and say hi.

Although openers (not ‘pickup lines’) are great casual openers to get some sort of interaction going, they are not your only option. The most effective openers are always those that are dead simple or situational, like a simple “Hey, how are you doing?” followed by a warm, sincere smile will convey confidence and will cut through all the canned bullsh!t she’s use to.

Avoid The Clichés

The idea is to come across original and unlike any other guy she’s met out in a bar or club etc. You need to be the guy that she thinks to herself “wait a sec, he’s not like the others. I’m intrigued, what so special about this one?” Avoid the clichés at all costs, these have been tried and tested to fail miserably for decades so don’t go there. Some of the most common clichés are:

  • Can I buy you a drink?
  • Wow you really are gorgeous / hot / beautiful
  • What’s your name?
  • You have beautiful eyes / hair / body

Sure most of the guys she’ll meet will offer to buy them a drink or comment on how beautiful she is (and obviously won’t get very far) or something equally cheesy and predictable, but the one guy that gets her interest or makes a real connection with her will be the one to make it all worthwhile. So you’re actually going to be doing her a huge favour by going up and sparking a fun and playful conversation.

Opinion Openers

These are openers that call for her point of view on something and are very effective in getting a woman to start chatting.

For example, ask her (or the group of women): “What do women really look for in a guy they see at a bar / club?” and follow with “I know the most important trait is confidence, but after that initial attraction what then are you looking for? A tight bum? A thick wallet? Which?”

Situational Openers

These take into consideration what is happening around you (i.e. the venue) or anything that is in the news or on TV etc. Situational openers are very effective as they appear off the cuff and original i.e. not canned.

For example: “What do you girls think about Paris Hilton and her grandfather disinheriting her from millions, she’s not all that bad is she?” This will usually get a mixed response as the good girls will say “good, it served her right” and the naughty / party girls will respond with “she’s just having a bit of fun!”

Another great one that an unknown PUA came up with is: “Are you guys shy? Because I’ve been standing here talking to my friend for like 5 minutes now and you still haven’t said ‘hi”.

Canned Openers

This can be a fun approach but you need to let her know you that realise how corny the lines are yourself, because if she thinks you’re being serious when you ask them it’s not funny anymore. Sarcasm is the name of the game here.

Be playful, the idea is to get her to (sarcastically of course) choose the cheesiest line possible. So ask her “It must be tough being a women, you must have a lot guys come up to you with cheesy lines, so tell me which one out of the following do you think would seduce you and make you all weak at the knees?” Then go ahead and rattle a few off, for example: (playfully then say “ok, here’s the first one are you listening?”)

  • If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
  • Is your dad a thief? Because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes
  • You know, if I were you, I’d have sex with me
  • Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under…

(or any other lines equally as cheesy)

Get her to choose one, and then ask her “so is that the one that would do it for you?”, you can then get to chatting with her by noticing something she is wearing and asking an open ended question like “that’s an interesting necklace you have on, why did you choose that one?”

It’s important to be well read up and have interests that lie outside of seduction and pickup, for example: read the newspaper daily, and get up to speed with current events, read topical books or biographies, watch documentaries or films, the important thing is to have intelligent and interesting topics to talk about with women, especially if they are controversial as women love drama and controversy.


About Author

Lover of gadgets, men's culture, cool stuff, Earl Grey tea and all things manly. An optimist in his prime. When he's not keeping the wheels turning at Mantality HQ you'll find him trawling the web, and visiting trade shows to find the newest and coolest gadgets. During his down time he's usually with his 2 dogs, on the golf course, cycling or basking in the literary company of Oscar Wilde, Bret Easton Ellis or Martin Amis whilst drinking espresso strong enough to strip paint.

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