It’s quite understandable that the average heterosexual urban man is not all too keen on having devices, human appendages or small fury (Richard Gere resembling) rodents shoved up their Coal Hole. So why would one want to then. Well, apart from the health benefits: of engorging the prostate with fresh, nutrient rich oxygenated blood which will help to stave off a swollen prostate or Allah forbid prostate cancer in later life; you are going to experience the most earth shatteringly intense orgasms you never thought possible – the one’s that’ll leave you trembling at the knees and breathing like a woman in the initial stages of childbirth. That’s why! So if you’d rather carry on as you have been: with your dull-wanking and a ho-hum-come every time, then read no further.
Hygiene & Cleaniless
Your Chutney Channel (or “anal canal” if you’re anally retentive when it comes to euphemisms) is usually quite clean as the chutney is stored a little further up in the rectum and bowel area. But just to be on the safe side (and for comfort), consider an anal douche or ‘laying some cable’ approximately ½ an hour before hand.
Good quality prostate toys will have a handle – for manual intervention – and a ribbed base to ensure the toy sits comfortable in there and won’t slip out at an inopportune moment; like whilst you’re hunched over, tea-bagging your potato sacks down her throat.
And just remember when it comes to poo: hygiene is essential as it harbours all sorts of nasty bacteria that cause some grave illnesses. So hot soapy water and a good scrubbing [of the toy]before any fun begins is crucial. And as a courtesy gesture maybe do the same to your cock while you’re at it.
The Prostate Gland (or Male G-Spot)
The male G-spot refers to the prostate gland which is located on the front wall of the anal canal. This walnut-shaped gland is responsible for creating a man’s erections, orgasms and ejaculations. The male G-spot experience opens previously unknown doors of sexual pleasure where men experience far more intense orgasms that involve the whole body. The male G-spot experience opens previously unknown doors of sexual pleasure where men experience far more intense orgasms that involve the whole body.
Getting Started with Your G-Spot Massager
Right! So now you’re almost at the point of plugging your bunghole with a foreign object. Make sure to check off the following items and have them close to hand before you begin.
• Silicone (water based) lube (check!)
• Towels (check!)
• Gerbil (check!)**
• Raven Riley Fleshlight (check!)
• Cream Pie Milfs #3 DVD (check!)
• Girlfriend/Wife/Step-sister (check!)**
• Nexus Vibro Male G-Spot Toy (check!)
** indicates optional items
Step 1: Get into the “G-Spot” (“G” is for Grrrrr!)
The guys over at Nexus – responsible for the world’s best loved g-spot and prostate toys for boys – recommend that you get into the mood with some deep breathing and relaxation techniques just to get things loosened up and receptive to penetration. [stop furrowing that brow this is serious stuff man]
Begin by putting a dollop of lube onto your fingers – in fact a lot, say, enough to grease up Jacob Zuma’s forehead (including the shower-head) – and gently begin by massaging and rubbing the area. Continue to explore yourself whilst getting into the mood. Go Columbus go! Explore those nether regions!
Step 2: “You! Get in my bottom at once!”
After giving the anal area some sweet, tender loving (you’ll feel things start to loosen up), try sliding a finger in there until you begin feeling more comfortable down there and your Samantha Janus becomes more hospitable to surprise visits from alien objects.
Now, warm up the massager/toy by rubbing it in your hands or under some warm water. Then lube up like nobody’s business and begin the process of sliding the toy up and in. Go slow, and remember your sphincter muscle (your ‘chocolate starfish’) is going to contract the more you struggle, and strain, so relax, take it easy and watch as it effortlessly slides in. Ensure the massager slides all the way in and is sitting comfortably. Now carry on with the night’s festivities while you get used to that fuller feeling.
Step 3: Get a Feel For it and Enjoy
Over the next 15 minutes your prostate is going engorge itself with blood and become more sensitive- which is a good thing – so stop worrying about how you’re going to explain to the Netcare 911 guys exactly why you’re hopping around with your pants around your ankles; there’s a suspicious orange-coloured plastic device protruding from your shitwinker; you have a pleasurable grimace across your face; and there’s some disturbingly frisky eastern European porn blaring in the background – this is all normal. Your prostate engorging itself is what will provide the stimulation and lend to the mind-blowing orgasm – and feel free to use the manual handle to hit different spots and experiment with what feels good – but most importantly just have fun with it.
Download your free prostate massager guide.
Some of the G-Spot Toys Available
© James Mew for Mantality.co.za