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How To Kiss A Woman and Have Her Captivated


That instance where your lips meet for the first time has to be one of the most incredible heart throbbing moments that come about when seducing a women. It is the very culmination of your hard work and flirting anguish and sets the passion for the rest of evening. Remember a lot of women are judging your prowess as a lover based on your kissing ability.

Every guy has his approach to kissing, however your kiss needs to be firm but not forceful, soft but not meek. A timid kisser is almost as bad as the guy that’s mashing his face into hers and chipping a few teeth along the way – it’s a fine line so tread lightly.

The Preparation

Before going in for that first kiss make sure that you’re fully prepared. By this I mean your breathe should be fresh smelling – not necessarily smelling like the pine slopes of Switzerland- but definitely fresh enough not to put her off. This is especially true if you’re a smoker or if you have an addiction to garlic.

Another thing to butter her up is to make sure your lips are not dry and chapped like that of a camel’s anus, this as you can imagine is not very nice and especially not to kiss. It’s a good idea to always have lip balm in your pocket, and readily available, exactly for these kind of situations. This combined with yours and her spit is going to make for a “well lubed” kissing session.

The Approach

Whilst this article is about the actually process of kissing, knowing when to is an entirely different topic (which I will cover in another article). So I’m going to assume you’ve taken all the hints and IOI’s (indicators of interest) and you’re at the point of “pulling into her”.

Coming in to meet your lips with hers should be slow and gradual, so keep your eyes open until the moment your lips meet. This will save any embarrassment by accidently kissing her nostril or actually missing her lips completely.

A nice anticipation technique is to slowly (taking 1-2 seconds) move in to meet her lips then just before, pause for a second, or until she opens her eyes then move back in for the kiss. This will intensify that moment and create a passion you will feel and hear in her breathing.

The Lips

If nothing else, mastering good lip action would be the single most important thing you could do to come across as a good kisser (and passionate lover).

Keep your lips relaxed and moist, don’t purse them too much and don’t over pout, keep them soft and supple. Try to gently clasp her bottom lip with both your lips then let go, do the same to her top lip. Become rhythmic with this movement but not predictable, mix it up.

Another tip is, after you have gently let go of her bottom lip, make your bottom lip soft and loose then slowly “run” it upward over both her bottom and top lips – you may need to tilt your head back slightly for this one.

The Tongue

The “French” part of any kiss should be delicate and un-reptilian like as possible. A sure fire way to gross her out is to flick your tongue in and out of her mouth like a lizard.

While your lips are together, gently put the end of your tongue against her lips which she’ll respond with by opening her mouth a little and bringing out her tongue. Gently then massage her tongue (with yours) in circular or sideway motions.

Keep the tongue tasteful, you’re NOT trying to taste what she had for dinner nor are you meekly lapping at her lips. Explore her tongue with yours and take a cue as to the depth from how far she pushes her tongue into your mouth.

In some cases passion can become so intense that you both find yourself thrusting each other’s tongues deep into your mouths, this is fine once and a while to really heat things up, but then bring things back to steady movements.

The Teeth

“Clanking” teeth is never a good sign and probably means your mouth is to open and you’re being a bit too forceful. However your teeth should be used to gently bite down on her top and bottom lip, but be careful only use your top row of teeth and bottom lip, or bottom row of teeth and your top lip – you don’t want to draw blood. Whilst kissing, gently bite down on her lip with your teeth pull your head back slightly after which let her lip go then pull back, look her in the eyes for a moment then continue kissing her. This says to her “I can be a little kinky too Missy”

The Hands

There is simply no better way to add smouldering passion and heat to a kiss than to passionately hold her in your hands.

A good way to hold her is with your palm open on the side of her face. The tips of your fingers should curl around her neck with your palm and thumb placed along her cheek running up to her chin.

Also try and take her chin in between your pointer finger and thumb and kind of pull her into you, this keeps you in charge. Running your thumb sideways across her lips during “breathers” (i.e. when you pull back for a second and just admire her, exploring her face with your eyes) is a good way to keep the passion while your faces are just barely touching and your lips are not together.

A great technique whilst kissing her is to take a clump of her hair (at the base of her neck) and gently pull downward and tighten (and loosen) your grip during the kiss. This will get her weak at the knees and moist at the crotch!

The Movement

You’re going to want to keep things interesting and not stay in one position the entire time. Explore her by switching sides i.e. angling your face from the left over to the right – and it’s ok to bump noses here as that’s part of the passion. Just don’t squelch her nose flat into her face.

You don’t have to purely focus on her lips, and you shouldn’t. Move the kissing completely away from her lips and onto the base of her neck, pecking her gently with naughty little nibbles here and there too, also go ahead and smell her slightly. Then move up to her ear and gently brush against it, up and down whilst increasing your breathing and gently nibbling using your upper teeth and lips.

Kissing does take practice to master, so get out there and try it on as many girls as you can. And if you have the balls, ask them what they liked and didn’t like about your kiss. It’s the only way to learn.

Another thing I should mention is that I have found saying things whilst kissing is also incredibly hot and fun to do. You must have seen the movies where the women is trying to say something and the guy keeps on kissing her, then lets her carry on only to pull in to her again – mid sentence. Try this, it really is fun and creates an amazing passion. During a breather (when you’ve pulled back from the kiss) say to her “I never thought you’d be this good a kisser”, wait for her to reply then mid-sentence kiss her again, pull back then say “sorry where you trying to say something?”. Keep doing this for a bit to add a bit of fun and humour into the whole kissing experience. Do it and you will come across as an intriguing lover she would like to discover.


About Author

Lover of gadgets, men's culture, cool stuff, Earl Grey tea and all things manly. An optimist in his prime. When he's not keeping the wheels turning at Mantality HQ you'll find him trawling the web, and visiting trade shows to find the newest and coolest gadgets. During his down time he's usually with his 2 dogs, on the golf course, cycling or basking in the literary company of Oscar Wilde, Bret Easton Ellis or Martin Amis whilst drinking espresso strong enough to strip paint.


  1. Pingback: How To Kiss A Woman and Have Her Captivated : Pickup & the Art of Seduction @ Grow Your Game

  2. Mistress Of Tantra on

    I have sent this link to all my ex’es I failed to teach. If THIS can’t help them they need to be culled from the program, which will be kinder because after a bad kiss it never EVER goes any further.

  3. Mistress Of Tantra on

    Okay you don’t need to pass this comment after moderation but good job 😉 sadly I think you either have it or you don’t – Michael Jordan would still have gone NBA without training, but Jack Black won’t get off the ground if u gave him wings and a motor.
    By good job I mean weak kneed. Naturally you are aware you have build up an expectation that will be hard to meet?

Anything to add?