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Man Cave Must Haves


How many articles do you think there are that advise men on how best to attract the fairer sex? And how many of those recommend the total sanitisation of your place, removing anything that may offend a delicate nature? Shit, if we’re honest, there are quite a few of them on this blog! But where are the articles for the man who has no intention of receiving female visitors? The man who, when it comes to the game of love, only plays away from home? Not all males succumbed to the feminist backlash that blighted the Noughties, and many still refuse to let any cushion through their front door unless it’s of the ‘Whoopee’ variety. For these stalwarts, here’s a list of products guaranteed to turn any pad into a chick repellent:


This bathroom accessory is impossible to own if you’re in a relationship, because you’d have to endure, “Oh, for God’s sake, how old are you?” on a daily basis. Most women are also insecure enough to compare it to their own breasts – something that will rarely end well. For the single guy, however, every shower with these puppies is riddled with guilt-free schoolboy fun.


If your idea of the perfect pet is an ungrateful, hissing, sadistic fur ball, then you might want to stop reading now… and count your testicles. The only cat that should ever be seen in a true bachelor pad is this one. Just take a blunt writing implement and, for want of a better phrase, shove it up its bum. There’s a satisfying “meow!” as the mechanism does its job – a fitting revenge for all those times Tiddles has lashed out with razor-sharp claws. Even if you don’t use pencils or crayons, get some. Then get this! (this product is available in a dog version too. This is, of course, sick and cruel.)


Can you imagine how much fun there is to be had with these simple stamps? You can show one and all your opinion on bills, foreheads, TV listings, cellulite, clothes, breasts…

Now imagine how popular they’d be in a cohabiting scenario…


There are plenty of men in relationships who have bought one of these. However, it’s a certainty that it sits in an unobtrusive corner of the kitchen while their lounge is so girlie it reeks of oestrogen. As a bona fide singleton this needn’t be the case, as you have full responsibility for your own Feng Shui. Don’t worry about getting the books out, though, because we’ve already looked it up. As far as we can tell, maximum Ch’i is achieved when the beer pump is TV-facing and right next to your favourite armchair.

© By Jack744 for

About Author

Lover of gadgets, men's culture, cool stuff, Earl Grey tea and all things manly. An optimist in his prime. When he's not keeping the wheels turning at Mantality HQ you'll find him trawling the web, and visiting trade shows to find the newest and coolest gadgets. During his down time he's usually with his 2 dogs, on the golf course, cycling or basking in the literary company of Oscar Wilde, Bret Easton Ellis or Martin Amis whilst drinking espresso strong enough to strip paint.

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