Men vs Women: Are We Really Bastards


All men are bastards, right? You only have to pick up any magazine intended for women and several of the features will tell you that. However, before dismissing this cliché as yet more anti-man propaganda, ask yourself why it has been around for so long. Could it be, perhaps, that we are just a little bit bastardy? It is possible because, as the following examples show, we can do a decent line in hypocrisy. Read on, men, and then hang your heads in shame.

Weighty Issues

Women have a hard enough time trying to measure up to a media-defined ideal figure, without men banging on about excess poundage. If you think your better half’s weight is becoming a problem (for health reasons and not, repeat, NOT because you “can’t fancy a fat chick”), then by all means subtly hint that a bar of chocolate should be a treat, not a challenge. However, if you’re bursting out of an XXXL shirt and surviving on fried chicken, don’t expect her to take much notice. Instead, why not take a look at Mantality’s range of slimming aids to help get you back to an ideal weight? As well as heading off a massive coronary, your partner is much more likely to go for the idea if she sees you making an effort.

Alcohol: The Thin Red Wine

Imagine you’re at a party where you are the designated driver. Now imagine that the love of your life has had a few too many drinks. She is slurring, squealing loudly, falling into people and grabbing you inappropriately. You spend the night apologising profusely to anyone who’ll listen, accusing her of being drunk and making a scene. Then you don’t speak to her for days. Now reverse the roles and suddenly things seem a little different, don’t they? The next day you will behave like a bear with a sore head, before eventually claiming that a) you remember nothing, b) she’s blowing everything out of proportion and c) it’s a f**king party, for f**k’s sake – you’re supposed to enjoy yourself.

It’s not too hard to see why the girls get a bit pissed off with this.

Are Shoes Considered Essential Items?

Any man who has lived with a woman will have witnessed an expensive pair of shoes suddenly materialising from out of nowhere. Justification usually takes the form of giveaway sale price, necessity or even reparation for previous misdemeanours. Whichever it is, the result is always the same – an extra pair of shoes in the wardrobe and a dented bank balance. Next time this happens don’t be too quick to condemn her frivolous and excessive spending. Ask yourself how many non-essential, often expensive, gadgets you have bought in the past. Simply replace the words ‘pair of shoes’ with the words ‘iPhone Projector‘…and then relax.

Are You Looking At My Bird?

As feminists have been telling us for ages, all men are animals. As such, we have instincts buried deep in the subconscious that predate civilised society. There’s the primeval urge to continue the species by sowing seed far and wide, as well as the unshakeable belief that any mate ‘belongs’ to us. Just how much each impulse is allowed to affect behaviour on a day-to-day basis depends on the individual. Most of us manage to keep them within society’s definition of acceptable behaviour, although there are some men who don’t. If, on one hand, you’re flirting in front of your partner, while using the other hand to slap a waiter for looking at her, there are some issues that ought to be addressed.

These are only a few of the double standards that infuriate the ladies and, if we don’t want them thinking we’re bastards, it has to stop. The best advice we can give is to try and see your behaviour through her eyes, then act accordingly. Trust us, it will go a long way towards making your coexistence a happy one.

© By Jack744 for

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