Are you even a dad if you don’t tell dad jokes? Whether you have told these jokes or laughed at a few on occasion, I know I’m guilty, we have all been witness to the gaudy yet endearingly hilarious dad joke. Some would say they’re a way of life, we’ll even go as far as to say they’re a part of “pop” culture much like the revered dad bod.
WHAT MAKES A DAD JOKE?
Dad jokes have become tradition, a family past time. A sort of membership, if you will, inherently passed from father to son over time. But what makes a ‘dad joke’? Whilst there are many varieties of jokes that have been labeled as a dad joke, the most common component seems to be the clever yet crushingly obvious wordplay. The cheesy, cringe-worthy jokes that make us all groan and possibly giggle. We laugh not because the jokes are especially funny but because of the man behind the joke and most importantly the delivery. Ensuring both a chuckle and a groan simultaneously, whilst perversely enjoying your very obvious embarrassment. The man who always makes you smile, even after you affectionately mock him at his repeated attempts to make your mother’s eyes roll back into her head. Maybe you’re guilty of sharing a few of these gems, you might recognise some of them or you’d like to add a few to your dad bag. In celebration of Father’s Day, we have selected a few ‘Dad Jokes’ that will have you laughing with your pops. Show dad just how much you care by speaking his language.
CHEESY DAD JOKES
I went for an interview at a blacksmith’s yesterday, and he asked me, “Are you any good at shoeing horses?”
I said, “No, but I once told a donkey to get lost.”
Run out of toilet paper and having to use lettuce leaves.
Today was the tip of the iceberg.
When I caught my neighbour attaching a rocket engine to a deer, I immediately reported him to the authorities.
Shame on him for trying to make a quick buck.
I recently started taking my paddle boat out on the lake.
I feel like canoe person.
What is muffins spelled backwards?
Exactly what you do when you take them out the oven.
I misplaced Dwayne Johnson’s cutting tool for the origami workshop.
I can’t believe I lost the Rock’s Paper Scissors.
In exactly 3030 years, there’s a chance things could be really good and there’s a chance things could be really bad.
I guess it will be 5050.
To the person who stole my selfie stick…
You need to take a long look at yourself.
When people think of calculators they think the buttons are the most important thing.
But it’s what’s inside that counts.
To ride a horse or not to ride a horse.
That is equestrian.
PUNNY DAD JOKES
All my friends have such expansive bucket lists.
Mine is a little pail in comparison.
I was waiting at the airport baggage carousel and noticed that everyone else had a better bag than me.
It was the worst case scenario.
I’m making a new documentary on how to fly a plane.
We’re currently filming the pilot.
My son told me, “The car manual says that I shouldn’t turn up the stereo to full volume.”
I said, “That’s sound advice.”
I spent $80 on a belt that didn’t fit.
My wife said it was a huge waist.
I was told it’s inappropriate to make a ‘dad joke’ if you’re not a dad.
It’s a faux pa.
My daughter told me, “I wasn’t able to make reservations at the library.”
I said, “because they’re completely booked.”
I was advised to quit my job as a personal trainer because I wasn’t strong enough.
I just handed in my too weak notice.
What do FedEx and dad jokes have in common.
It’s all about the delivery man.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When the punchline becomes apparent.
ONE-LINER DAD JOKES
What is an apple watch?
Which Pope smells the nicest?
What language do oranges speak?
What does a pear tree do before growing it’s fruit?
What’s another name for dad jokes?
What do you call a magician who has lost their magic?
How does a computer get drunk?
It takes screen shots.
What bird never knows the lyrics to a song?
Why was the broom late for the meeting?
What is the favourite music of cheese?
R ‘N’ Brie.
AWKWARD DAD JOKES
Why should you be worried if you see cows smoking marijuana?
Because that’s when the steaks are highest.
Social distancing has led to Hooters offering delivery to your door.
They’re changing their name to Knockers
My wife claims that a man in camouflage is really sexy.
I just don’t see it
My son asked if he could go to a 50 cent concert.
I gave him 1 dollar bill and told him to take his sister.
I sprayed Febreeze in my bathroom.
Now it smells like shitrus
Singing in the shower is all fun and games, until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it becomes a soap opera.
My ex-wife told me I was terrible in bed.
I told her its unfair to make a judgment in less than a minute
If organ trafficking is illegal?
Then what about pianos?
My son asked, “How do you get Dick from Richard?”
I said, “Well, you got to go to dinner first.”
A furniture store keep calling me.
All I wanted was one night stand.
Have any good ones you’d like share? Comment your best dad jokes below.