Wicked Wit: Euphemisms

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Never be at a loss for less than an witty euphemism, the next time you’re confronted with one of mother nature’s genetical blunders:

  • His elevator doesn’t go all the way up to the top floor
  • He’s one drop short of an empty bladder
  • He’s one sultana short of a total fruitcake
  • She’s one tit short of an udder
  • He’s the statue in a world of pigeons
  • Oil doesn’t reach his dipstick
  • He’s a titanic intellect in a world full of icebergs
  • He’s not the freshest egg in the carton
  • He has a one way ticket on the Disorientated Express
  • He missed the last train to Clue Junction
  • There’s a kangaroo loose in his top paddock
  • He’s swimming in the shallow end of the gene pool
  • He’s driving down the road of life with the handbrake on

© The Mammoth Book of Insults

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